One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
