I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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