mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize