the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
