she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
