I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
