i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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