Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
