How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
