i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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