i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize