As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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