Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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