I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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