3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He shit in the fireplace
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
