i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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