I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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