Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i think i just lost a toe
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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