so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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