is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
