I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it hurts more in the daytime
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
