sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
