are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize