Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
