Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
