Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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