She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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