no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
