im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
