How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
