just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
