Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
