so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
