TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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