Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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