help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
