Jerry, you need to find god
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
