she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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