WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
