you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
