I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
