Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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