put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
