I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
