Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
"it" just moved
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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