she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
