some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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