I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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