somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize