Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
