do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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