dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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