He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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