The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Come share oat with me in your robe
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
