you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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