why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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