so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
