yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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