i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The best revenge is premature balding
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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