I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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