I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
