Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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