The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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