trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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